childhood

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Sunday, July 23, 2006

Hilarious happenings

There were a number of extreme Hilarious encounters eg.

when I was abt 5 I accompanied my mum on one of her visit to her frens near Beauty World (durin then it was still undevelope n was a cluster of kampong houses). n this particular kampong did not have modern toilet facilties. e toilets are common toilets tat are built like elevevated little hse which had a bucket beneath to "catch" all e wastes. n dear me with all my playmates decided to pay a visit to e toilet. though i had no urgent need to do any "biz" i wanted to join it e "fun" as everybody were makin a bee-line. prior to this i had nvr used a common toilet b4. so when it's my turn i bravely step into e toilet n my.... e openin for e "wastes" was huge! i spread my short legs to each side but i dunno how one of my legs landed into e bucket below! my legs mus b too short! oh gosh! i can still remember all e smelly yucky wastes coverin my leg! i managed to pull my leg out n went cryin to my mum.
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there was this time when i was abt 9 my sister (she's 10yrs older) sent me on an errand to buy "cotton wool" fr e medical shop. i happily took e moni n went to e medical shop n told e shopkeeper (male) tat i needed to buy 2 dollars of "cotton wool". He gave me a v quizzical look n ask me if i'm sure i wanted "cotton wool" n not something else. i was pretty confident i didn't hear my sister wrongly n told him so. i took home a big bag of "cotton wool". Guess wat?? my sister on seeing e "cotton wool" told me it was e wrong thing. she had wanted me to buy sanitary pads! OMG.... y din she juz say so! wat's she thinkin! so poor me got to bring e "cotton wool" back to change 4 e sanitary pads!
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when i was in kindergarten1(i spent 3 mths there) n durin 1 of breaks where we were given food my teacher told e class they're not to put back the bowls till it's totally empty. n it happened to b e food i hated e most, green bean soup. e girl tat was sitting beside me was so smart, she quickly scooped wat's left of hers into my bowl n got up to put her bowl away. i was mortified! it nearly drove me to tears! it was pure torture tat day 4 me. till this day i still hated green bean soup. My fav. food then was tea w biscuit.... still is :)

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Thursday, July 13, 2006

Rules in Schools

In order to move forward in the world MOE got to do a better job on the "types" of teachers they recruit! Some of the teachers (especially in primary schools) have a huge ego problem! They'll insist they're rite irregardless n expect students to obey blindly. OMG... n they wan to have a "creative" generation??

n there're teacher who're obsessed w wat the students are wearing to e point of absurdity! there's this teacher in a primary school tat make it a daily ritual to "torment" the students regarding the length of their skirt (mind u it's onli slightly abv e knee) n e earrings tat they're wearing. She insist tat e students can onli wear stud earrings n not simple ring earrings!

Then there're teachers tat're not even competent in e English language teachin n markin Eng. compo. they put a huge "?" at the v start of the compo. n ask 'wat is this thing'... if at e v 1st sentence u know everything then where's e need to write more?? y can't e teacher read on n enjoy e twist n mystery which will unravel at e end?? mus our essays b direct n straight forward in order to score (so y call it creative writing)? teachers got to realize tat students tat're competent in e language are v well read n may've developed a writing style of their own. so we'll get no where in our English language if teachers first n fore most are not willing to recognize "talents" when they c it!

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Saturday, July 08, 2006

What's a Good Man??

This question has interesting ans. depending wat age u're.... at least tat's e conclusion i've come to so far. A woman mayb attracted to a man 4 all e wrong reasons.

When u're in yr teens a guy tat's good looking (tat also diff. somewhat w age... :).. ) may attract yr attention but will not matter as much if u're older. A guy tat's caring towards his family (remember tat's not u yet) may not make a good husband. Ironically if he's selfish n his whole universe revolves around u may also make him a poor husband (he mayb overly possesive n paranoid). so how??

Look 4 a guy tat tend to put yr interest first n not every Tom, dick n Harry besides his family (tat's not u) ...nvr fall in love w a guy tat sits on high moral grounds n always do wat he thinks is morally correct as he seldom remembers tat part of his "duty" is to look after u too.

e next no-no on e list will b his temper... 4get.. dump him if he has a fiery temper. u'll b saved a lot of heartaches later. dun try to b hero... u can NEVER chg a person's personality... if u're lucky (dun count on it) w age he can tamper it a little.

if he worships his mother.. 4get him... tat's something u'll not wan livin w as unconsciously he tend to make remarks tat hurts u w/o realising it. u can b sure his precious mum will view u as a threatening opponent for his love. n he on e other hand thinks mum can do no wrong so problem lays w U! dun get yrself in such situation.

but no matter wat... a 'white knight' nvr comes riding! so b realistic... even if a guy profuses his undying love he got to prove it in actions otherwise it'll always b juz hollow talk. hahaha barking dogs nvr bites.

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

wat did i learn??

so wat did i learn fr these 3 women?? how did it affect me? the first 2 women is no longer w us... there're onli memories left.... MIL is still around! good ppl join GOD earlier??

The difference between these 3 women is stark.... MIL is self-centered, selfish nvr bothered abt others feelings or inconv. She is always abt I, me n myself... her universe onli she matters! whereas Ta Chie is selfless! Family 1st... trying to b perfect mother, wife daughter. So Ta Chie had a tough life whereas MIL has it easy. wat does tat proves? Hahaha... better to b selfish n dun b bothered how many lives u destroy in e process?? this world is so ironical....

Therefore, there's no such thing as being perfect. No matter how hard u try there's always critisim n a better way. Jus b comfortable w yrself n sometimes live for yrself because at the end of the day u do not wan to regret (I know Ta Chie did regret tat she din take care of her own health).

Mom taught me to be optismistic n never think lesser of myself. thru' her i hv gained confidence in achieving even if opportunities doesn't present itself. MIL taught her daughters to resent being born the wrong sex! Though mom had her short-comings too... like making me feel tat I was a burden to her... I had wished tat I was nvr born then. But thru' it I learnt to b independent (not by choice) which is a stark contrast to my hubby. MIL did such a "fantastic" job w her sons tat they can't do anything themselves! MIL kept an eye on them every recess (every single min. of it... they din hv any playtime) during their primary school days!

MIL has nvr earned earned a single cent in her life but she has more $$ than most working ppl... how she does it? get it fr her SONS (e more e merrier)! make them feel extreme guilt if they dun give... clever rite?? doesn't matter even if they hv their own families to feed n there's not enuf to do it jus as long as she gets hers!

So there u hv it... it doesn't pay to be nice always... b smart n realistic then u're ok.... life is harsh...

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

the third women

3rd Woman...

She is my mother-in-law (MIL)

She had 4 girls b4 finally having a son followed by another 2 more sons n since now there're 4 girls n 3 boys she tried for another son but she had another girl. She is an extreme case of favouring boys over girls! I wonder wat her problem is as my father-in-law din mind at all. She hated him.

She make her first born do all the housework as she NEEDED to take care of her sons. Eldest sis.-in-law (SIL) had to bring water fr the well b4 going to school in e morning (they hadn't got running water). She had to rush back fr school to cook lunch 4 e family. Juz imagine she was onli 13 yrs old! She was practically a 'mother' to all of them. wat my MIL did?? who knows?? n once when there was a heavy downpour n SIL 4got to bring her umbrella to school so she waited for the rain to let up a little b4 going home. By the time she walked home she was all drenched. Guess wat.... MIL threw her school bag out into the rain n punished her to stand in the rain for coming home late! She stood in the rain for a couple of hours... cold n hungry!! Can't imagine anybody doing tat to their child!...'cause of tat punishment she fell very sick n had to skip school for a long time... SIL didn't really recover as years later she had to hv open heart surgery. tat's why she could only have 1 kid.

Tat wasn't the onli mean thing she did. For quite along time all her siblings thought tat SIL runaway fr home when she was 18. But far fr truth... she was chased out of the hse by her mother as she had refused to get married to some bums tat her mother wanted to match-make her with. MIL even went to extend of demanding tat SIL's boyfriend (now hubby) at tat time take up an advertisment to make 'announcement' ... they still keep tat advert.

The 2nd girl in the family found a job tat would post her overseas as soon as she came out to work. In her own words...I 'ran away' as soon as I could b4 the same thing happen to me. The 3rd girl in the family also left Singapore as soon as she could. 2nd girl is now a citizen in USA.

4th girl is illiterate. She had feared having injections when she 1st entered school n refused to go. MIL was more than happy to hv her home. MIL didn't even try to persuade her but instead tells her tat she herself didn't want to attend school. MIL expected somebody who's 6 yr old to be 'RESPONSIBLE' for her own actions. MIL has never taken responsibilty for anything till this very day(she's 75). MIL blames everybody, anybody for anything that doesn't turn out rite!

Dun ever try to help her do anything. If you help her to mop the floor she will do it again rite under yr nose! She feels onli she can do things the rite way. Whenever she wants anything she wants it 'YESTERDAY' n if u dun fufil her request IMMEDIATELY u'll definately b bad-mouthed!

MIL practiced 'guys are more superior' to the extreme. Women's underwear is not hung out to dry but hidden behind a door! U're not suppose to keep women's clothes w men. Din she realise she's a woman??

MIL hated her husband... why onli she knows. She would nag n scold him when he is sick n couldn't go out to work. Juz imagine can't even rest when u're sick! She would onli allow him to eat leftovers if there're any otherwise onli preserved stuff... she would actually stand there n make sure he didn't eat wat he was not supposed to! He was a mild mannered man... a good man... he juz tolerated... which was quite dumb.

Then there was the time when my hubby(then boyfriend) help me take care of my dog, a pekingniss (Angel), MIL also hated the dog. She kept on complaining tat there were hair everywhere. She insisted tat a bell tat i tied on Angel mus b removed... it was too noisy! Angel started lossing hair n we brought her to the vet numerous times. Everytime her condition seemed to improve then detriorate... n she nearly became bald. Then my husband dicovered the reason by chance... horrors of horrors... his mum had been feeding the dog all sorts of leftover food! Then one fine day when my husband came home fr work n she told him Angel had ranaway. Angel was half blind n never goes out on her own. Angel runaway?? I really have my doubts.

My marriage nearly broke-up 'cause of her(MIL). During the early part of my marriage b4 we had kids she was perpetually 'harrassing' my husband to go n visit her... tat means every Sunday. She would call at all sorts of hour. She would be complaining to my hubby behind my back.

She babysitted my first born for 2 months when she was 6 months old n my baby ended up stayin in hospital for a week for food posioning under her care. MIL would b always telling my daughter not to 'want' me when I go in the evening to bring her home. The hospital stay was the last straw...tat was when I decided to quit my job n take care of my daughter.

MIL is happiest when somebody gives her moni. She hoards moni...she loves moni. She NEVER buys anythin for her grandchildren.

Then there was the time not long aft. we were married n my husband went to his mum's place to pick up some of his things. MIL tailed him around the hse. To make sure he did not take any thing tat he was not supposed to? She even went to the extend of checking the bags tat he packed! She demanded tat he return her her hse keys n clear out all his things. Is tat how a mother treats a son?

A couple of yrs back I tot I could try to b nice n since it was always my hubby's wish tat he could bring her for a holiday I agreed to include her in our holiday plans. Boy... sure I do regret my decision! I even helped her to save moni by offering her to stay 2gether in our room so she would not have to pay single room supplement (so we onli took 2 rms, kids 1 rm, we 1rm). Big mistake! When I settled the kids in for the nite, guess wat I found in the other rm? MIL was sleeping in the Double bed! Wat was she trying to prove?? She expected her son to sleep w her n me on a single bed?? Oh gosh!! Finally her dear son muttered up enuf courage to ask her to move to the single bed. She would wake up at 5am (as she was able to sleep at 10pm) n make a din. Poor me I onli managed a miserly 3 hours sleep. Naturally I developed migrain. When I told my husband I would sleep w my daughters, he threw a huge tantrum! wat a "wonderful" husband i have! And when we had meals u can't imagine the quantity she consumed, generally leaving me w pathetic amt. When the rare few times tat I could talk to my husband she would definately interrupt with something totally unrelated to get all his attention. I gave up n my time was spent entirely w my kids. Needless to say... my holiday was a complete wreak.

She's really somebody u will not want to know!

Blogged At 11:56 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

2nd women

2nd Women - Perfect

I dun remember living w Ta Chie at all. She was married when I was 3+ She married her sweet-heart fr school after he finished his Uni. It was considered extremely good for a girl during her time having been able to finish "A" levels. I still have photos of her w her boyfriend (later hubby) in his gradution granduer.

I considered her e prettiest amongst us. She married into a very traditional Hokkien family. Not long after she was married she was retrenched fr her job as she had refused to recommend names of ppl to be retrenched. She paid e price for trying to protect her friends from lost of jobs. Her husband n family told her then to stay home n b a housewife since hubby is capable. So that ended her 'working' life.

Ta Chie suffered 3 miscarriages b4 my nephew came along. 2 yrs later followed by another daughter n 1 yr later 1 more daughter. She wanted to stop at 3 but her mother-in-law say must try for another son. Lucky for her it is a son but she nearly paid for it with her life as she had pretty serious complications. When this youngest nephew was borned I was still in primary school.

Cooking, washing, household work for the whole extended family (there were 3 families living 2gether n father n mother-in-law) n help out on e farm. Poor her. When the youngest was abt 2-3 they moved to a HDB flat. There it started different chapter of her life.

She started selling flowers (they had a small nusery) door-to-door. Initially, she did tat twice a month later she begin to do it very frequently as she felt she didn't hv enuf $$. Her husband gave her a fixed amt of moni every month n she got to make do w wat she was given. I asked her if it wasn't enuf why don't ask for more, she told me it wasn't tat simple 'cause my brother-in-law would ask why n how come not enuf. I din understand tat then but now w family of my own I can empathise. Can u imagine she walked fr Singapore Poly rite to Clementi to sell her flowers door-to-door then walk back e same way? At times she din even hv time to sit down to hv her lunch!

She could not eat her dinner (even if hungry) until her husband had his. She did not dare to converse w her kids in Mandarin as she was afraid of misunderstanding fr her mother-in-law tat was staying w her. Whenever we need to go out to a restuarant for a meal to celebrate Mum's birthday she would say why don't we eat in.. she could cook as restuarants are so expensive. There was a few times we told her to accompany Mum for a short holiday like to Thailand, she would inevitably say no as it cost $. She said wait for a few more years when her kids are independant then she can enjoy life. The onli time she bought anything was during Chinese New Year but she dotes on her kids. Tat was how traditional and thrifty she was.

My nieces got to learn to cook while they were in Sec. school as Ta Chie was too busy selling flowers. She worked so hard tat she had problem keeping her eyes open, literally! Doctors were consulted but they could not help. Then one day when she was onli 46 she discovered she had nose cancer!

I was already married by then and was expecting my first baby. The seriousness didn't quite sink in when she told me as she looked perfectly normal. She went thru 1 round of chemo. but the cancer cells came back. The doctor gave her 3 months n told all of us to be prepared for the worst.

My eldest nephew was juz in Uni, 2nd one in Poly.

When western medicine gave up on her she turned to Chinese Medicine. Then my brother-in-law arranged for her to be treated in China. They were in China for 3 months. How cruel of fate tat the first time tat she step out of Singapore was to fight for her life! She put up a real hard fight. I had my kids n was up to my neck w my own problems, but i try to visit as often as i could.

As her cancer progress, she lost her ability to speak as a tricho. was done to help her breath. So communcations was thru writin. She was a shadow of herself as tumours started even to grow out of her nose n she lost the ability to move her tongue. We got to keep swabbing her tongue as it was protruding out n skin would peel.

My nephew had to resit 7 papers in his final yr but manged to pass. Guess Ta Chie was happy.

Then her body started to fail her, they were unable to get the drip into her (she had not been able to eat for quite sometime already n tat was her main source of nutrition). We were told tat if without e drip she will last at most a few hours. My brother-in-law persuaded her to return home. I was told she agreed but I think it was more like she gave up her fight finally! My mum n 2nd sis went to hospital n accompany her home. I went directly to her hse as I need to settle my kids first(they were 1+). She survived for 3 yrs n her doctor had onli gave her not more than 3 months. So yr will to live can somtimes work wonders.

I was w her when she took her last breathe. Her husband was nowhere to b found! It was onli 1 yr later tat I found out where he was tat nite when Ta Chie died.

1 yr+ later during Chinese New Year when we gathered 2gether I found my niece crying.... when I found out the reason I was also extremely upset. My brother-in-law is gonna take a new wife! somebody he had known since his 'A' n had stayed single! He profess tat it was onli aft. Ta Chie fell sick tat he was in touch w tat woman.. haha.. quite an unbeliveable story! Can u believe Ta Chie slogged like a slave n hv not step out of Singapore for a holiday n her precious husband tat she held in such high regard brought another woman for a holiday in Australia barely afew months after she died! Nobody would hv known had it not be for 2nd n 3rd sis were holidaying in Australia n ran into them face to face! haha... u can run but u can't hide! They din tell me abt it till aft tat news abt him taking a new wife. then I put one n one 2gether n realise tat S** was with tat woman on the nite Ta Chie died.

All thru Ta Chie's life she had been tryin so hard to be the perfect mother n wife... it does not pay!

Sad... real sad...

Blogged At 11:18 PM 0 comments

Monday, June 12, 2006

e first - continue...

e first - continue...

So throughout my growin up years I've been aware on e importance of moni.... when I was onli 10 years old I was already giving tuition to 6 year olds... though earning not much... how abt tat! I've always been trying to earn tat extra few $$ as I was seen as a liability by mum... sad :(

My other two sisters nvr help much as by then they were in their teens n were pre-occuppied w their their own lives. My sister grades were fantastic but unfortunately 2nd couldn't carryin on studyin aft 'o' level as mum couldn't afford so 3rd sis. was luckier to carry on to 'A' level. I guess 2nd sis. resent tat she had to sacrifice as later when 3rd sis. wanna do Uni. she objected. So now there's onli me in school. Both my sis. were now bringin in e bacon so whenever an argument did errupt between me n sis. my mum would always take e side of my sis. Fact of life... if u can bring $ u hv more say!! At e end Sec.1 during e sch. holidays I had to work as a babysister for my form teacher (stayin in) for a month... I was affected emotionally... so nvr expose yr kids to such 'humilation'. In my Sec.3 school holidays I found myself a job job waitin at tables. e moment i finished my 'O' levels I came out to work...

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